So Tired It Hurts…

I have just went head-first into a wall, and I do not know how to recover...

On Friday evening after meeting my publication deadline, I was excited to move onto housework and other responsibilities. By the end of the evening, I was experiencing a level of exhaustion that was almost unbearable. I assumed it was due to the deadline and how hard that I had worked to complete my work, and that it would pass after a night’s rest.

Well, it didn’t. Here it is Tuesday evening, and I have been the epitome of a zombie since that time. I am literally so tired that it hurts. My body hurts; my mind aches; I cannot think straight; and my coordination is slow and lacking. I hit a brick wall before the weekend, and I have not since recovered.

I have tried caffeine, and that is not helping. I have tried rest, but any reprieve is only temporary. Eating and drinking does not help. Today, February 21, 2012, I took one of my small lights out for the first time. I have had it on since the early afternoon, and I am still deliriously tired. It is truly hard to describe.

I have a tiring week ahead of me, and if this continues, I am wondering how I am going to make it. I had assumed that the fatigue may have been due to “that” time of the month or impending sickness, which it may still be, but as time drags on, and I still feel like I have been run over by a train, I am beginning to doubt those two contributing factors.

I am starting to remember what S.A.D. truly feels like. I always know and remember, but still seem to forget the full magnitude of it. It’s no joke. I am truly living like the walking dead right now.

Life as a zombie is just no life at all...


2 thoughts on “So Tired It Hurts…

  1. I am so beyond sorry. Sorry that I can relate and sorry that you can express what I relate too if that makes sense. I live in Alaska, native of Missouri which has 4 seasons. Alaska has 2 seasons, dark and June. I have been here 14 years and every year I literally die a little more. Become a little more sedentary, feel a little more hopeless, yet cannot leave due to my husbands job. Last week one particular day I slept 27 hours. I hate my life.

    • jllopez1006 says:


      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. Sadly, I can relate to your predicament all too well. Someone that has not experienced it would not understand. Like you, I have been trying to get out of my current location to someplace better, but due to my husband’s job, it has not happened yet. Rather than me being able to adjust easier, it only gets worse. Today is the 2nd day of March, and we are in the middle of a snowstorm as I write. I can only hope that people like us will find comfort eventually. My husband described me the other day as a ghost, and it is true. I am a restless spirit, a shadow of my former self. For your sake, I can only hope it gets better.

      Thanks again.

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